I may just be the biggest moron on the planet!!!
It amazes me sometimes just how naive and stupid I can really be. For all those times that I think i am so smart, it's moments like this that make me feel like I can trust no one and no one is worth the pain.
But then again what did i really expect? I highly doubt anymore that the ONE I am looking for is out there. I may just have to get used to the idea that I am the only one in this boat. I should just batton down the hatches and sail on......yeah it gets lonely but it's not nearly as painful.
What about me actually makes people want to hurt me? Am I too trusting, caring, nice, etc???
Well maybe that is what is wrong, I just assume that everyone out there isn't telling me a shitload of lies and that there are real genuine good people.
Oh well, I'm just gonna move on once again like i have many times before.
I have enough shit on my plate anyways....
Thank god the gym is paying off or else I may not have any reason to smile anymore. I am down to 210lbs!!! Small victory but still smile worthy! 10 lbs to Goal #1!!!!
Some day some where I will find out why I am here and it will make me smile, and i'll think, damn, i should have known that.....I can't wait till that day, so then I will feel less of a complete fool and idiot!!!
Sweet Dreams...
P.S. I totally wanna be Godzilla right now.....i would love to take out a small island of people just for the hell of it!!! LOL PMS is hell!!
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