pas⋅sion
[pash-uh
n] 
Show IPA –noun | 1. | any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling, as love or hate. |
| 2. | strong amorous feeling or desire; love; ardor. |
| 3. | strong sexual desire; lust. |
| 4. | an instance or experience of strong love or sexual desire. |
| 5. | a person toward whom one feels strong love or sexual desire. |
| 6. | a strong or extravagant fondness, enthusiasm, or desire for anything: a passion for music. |
| 7. | the object of such a fondness or desire: Accuracy became a passion with him. |
| 8. | an outburst of strong emotion or feeling: He suddenly broke into a passion of bitter words. |
| 9. | violent anger. |
| 10. | the state of being acted upon or affected by something external, esp. something alien to one's nature or one's customary behavior (contrasted with action ). |
| 11. | (often initial capital letter) Theology.
|
| 12. | Archaic. the sufferings of a martyr. |
The other day at the gym, Sonja asked me what my passion is, and i just stuttered, and said, I have no clue anymore.....
Years ago I would not have hestitated to answer. Is it truly possible that I have lost all passion?
I am hoping that if i work through this definition piece by piece I might regain composure on what my passion is...
hmmm #1, what is something I have a compelling feeling for? well I guess that would be in kicking my own ass...I love going to the gym right now.
#2 a stong amourous feeling, well i guess this is where i am lacking, I love the act of going to the gym and seeing my muscles refine, but what I really want is to find earth shattering love. To feel safe and secure in a relationship that is mutually beneficial.
#3 strong sexual desire? hmmmmm ok well i haven't had sex in over 4 months so yeah this area is severely lacking....
#4 experience of strong love or sexual desire? um again no sex for 4 months and strong love has been way longer than that!
#5 the person? hmmmm no one is in my life at this point and no prospects as of yet....
#6 a strong desire.....i am so coming up blank...wow this is kind of depressing!!!
#7 the object.....i have never placed objects in a postition of love/ desire, i like to think of myself as un-materialistic...
#8 outburst of strong emotion, well i can't say i have had an outburst lately!!!!
#9 violent anger....hmmm I can't say i have been violently angry lately...i've been angry but not enough to cause violence!
#10 effected by something external? i don't get to be exposed to too much external these days so i have to put this as a NO
#11 sufferings of Christ, well since i have not been nailed to a cross lately or ever I think this one is n/a
#12 martyr? ummm i guess in my own way i have become slightly like a martyr but that is self-imposed....
So in conclusion I am still left with a big huge blank next to my passion box!!!!!
Hmm that leaves lots of what ifs in my brain..... I know I used to be passionate, towards people, food/ cooking, etc...what the hell happened to me?
Ok ok I know the answer to that I turned myself on autopilot and just survived for years.....well i am slowly breaking out from my passion coma, I gotta figure this out somehow......
What is life without passion????
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